aplpaca:

[sound of glass shattering from the other room as the christmas tree is knocked over bc someone tried to jump to reach the shiniest ornament]

Nott, from said other room: …….frumpkin did it

Caleb, sitting in the dining room unfazed with frumpkin on his lap: ja, he is a very naughty cat

primtheamazing:

pet peeve: when the main character is always the most boring character in a series bc the creator is writing them to be as broadly appealing as possible. LET YOUR MAIN CHARACTER BE A UNIQUE AND INTERESTING PERSON PLEASE IM BEGGING YOU

prokopetz:

prokopetz:

“I’m not big on heroic speeches, and that’s not going to change today, but I’ve got some things I need to say about what we’re setting out to do.

Over the past few months, I’ve been stabbed, shot, drowned,
frozen,

poisoned, electrocuted, set on fire – both consecutively and concurrently! – and on one occasion transformed into a ground squirrel, which I did not care for at all. And I know a lot of you have been through a lot of the same things.

At the time, I thought of it as the hazards of the job. I’m sure you did, too. But with what we’ve learned today, we now know that a singular force – some people would call it a god – has been behind it all from the very start.

Many would find it disheartening, to know that a god has it in for them, but I look at it like this: if there’s someone behind it, then there’s someone to blame for all the ridiculous bullshit that’s been visited upon me – indeed, upon us all. And if there’s someone to blame, then there’s someone who can catch payback.

…

Is this about justice? Maybe. Is it about freedom? Certainly, if we succeed, a lot of people will be set free. But I think it’s important to have a personal reason going into this, and for me, that reason is an ass that needs kicking.

So come on. Let’s go beat up God.”

Voices that folks have informed me they heard this post in:

  • Raymond Holt
  • Cave Johnson
  • John Mulaney