one time i saw a video of a hippo eating a watermelon. they rather funny-looking beasts, aren’t they? it opens its mouth which honestly looks completely non-threatening because it had, like, six teeth, and then the handler just sets the watermelon at the bottom
and then it uses that silly widdle whisker face to absolutely fucking destroy this watermelon like the damn thing’s rind was made of rice paper. turns out, the reason it doesn’t have many teeth is because teeth are for lesser beings that can’t rip through natural obstacles by gumming them to pieces with an inconceivable bite force. and it doesn’t snap or tear into it or anything, it just calmly closes its mouth around the watermelon, pauses for a moment while it assesses just how much of its ridiculous strength it needs to use, and crushes it like one of those chocolate malt balls
you know that feeling that’s, like, when you see something and you think, “this is so far outside of the realm of human experience that any conception i have of this will forever be a mere shadow of its true nature”? i feel that way about a hippo’s strength. one of my distant ancestors likely looked up into the sky at the natural terror of lightning and believed that such a thing could only be the direct influence of a god. i channel that fear, but for hippos
I’m so confused why he would think cookie dough would give him salmonella??? What parent told him this. There’s no chicken in there!
Two words: Raw eggs.
?? What kind of world do you live in where Raw eggs carry salmonella or are in anyway unsafe
Don’t ask me, ask them Americans. I’m an Asian just passing the word on
*deep breath* Though the risk is small, raw eggs can carry samonella.
MORE THREATENINGLY Raw wheat can carry E. Coli. However, if you don’t mind making your own cookie dough, you can easily make it safely.
Take your standard recipe. Omit the eggs. Eggs serve as a binding agent to hold the cookie together. Since we’re eating the dough raw, that’s not needed. Take the flour, put it in a pan and bake it at 350 for 7 minutes. Any E. Coli is now dead.
Just mix the rest of the ingredients together as the recipe is called for and BAM, perfectly safe edible cookie dough.
Thank u so fucking much for this wisdom
wait you’re telling my i can get E, Coli just FROM EATING FLOUR straight from the bag???
Why..why are you eating flour straight from the bag?
eggs are pretty much safe if you crack them in a bowl individually and check them for blood before adding them to your mixing bowl!!! I’ve eaten homemade cookie dough all my life without issue using that trick
That’s really not true. You have a bit of it right, though. Blood spots can lead to higher levels of salmonella in an egg but only if it is already there . If a chicken is infected with salmonella, the bacteria can live in the ovaries and infect every egg laid. (It also can live inside the muscles so that’s why you have to cook chicken thoroughly. Medium rare chicken is not a thing you eat.)
The US and Europe handle this differently: Europe vaccinates its laying hens against salmonella and does not wash or refrigerate their eggs. This prevents salmonella from being in the egg in the first place and keeps the natural protective coating of the egg intact.
The US washes its eggs to remove surface contamination, and refrigerates its eggs to inhibit bacterial growth. Refrigerated eggs, even unwashed ones, cannot be taken out for long periods safely because condensation on the outside is a great bacterial breeding ground. (Source)
Fandom in a Bottle 